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Fluchtbericht einer Syrerin

Der Fluchtbericht einer 35-jährigen Syrerin erzählt von den Beweggründen und den Schwierigkeiten, nach Deutschland zu gelangen. Es war für die Verfasserin sehr schwer, diese offenen Worte niederzuschreiben und dabei sind viele Tränen geflossen. Hoffentlich half das Schreiben, diese schwere Zeit zu verarbeiten. Dabei sind die schlimmsten Erlebnisse wie das monatelange ständige Lauschen auf Raketen und Bomben, die auf das Stadtviertel niedergingen und die Angst, dass diesmal das eigene Haus getroffen wird und Anblicke wie z.B.  ein mit Toten und Schwerverletzten voll gestapelter Bus nicht erzählt worden.

Hier der Fluchtbericht:

For the first moment, I do not know what I have to write. A lot of thoughts and memories come through my mind. At first I refused to write because I try to escape of my memories and to prevent myself going through depression again.

I faced a lot of things in Syria while I was living in Aleppo. Lack of Food or milk for children, the lack of gas and oil, and the most important thing is No peaceful place to live. The lack of medicine was the most horrible thing that I had ever passed by.

A lot of people here asked me why you came to Germany, why do you still stay here untill now? The answer is very simple: "because of my Children". You, as adult, can overcome all the bad circumstances, but your heart would be broken as anything bad happens to one of your children. I got premature twin which was so hard situation to deal with though the war. I could not feed them normally and they need a warm and calm place to live in as they were premature babies. These requirements are so normal for everybody to live but unfortunately not for the Syrian. Later my children had been suffered of very hard Anemia. I worked hard to help them but I failed while the fresh and healthy food was a kind of dreams at that time and no medicine was available. My husband and I at that time could not be happy to have these angels as new members we were been waiting for five years to see them. It is so painful to admit that we failed to give them the essential needs for their life. After a three years of suffering my small family which increased by another member could not survive for more. The kids need a kindergarten and more safe place to play and to life. Therefore my husband decided to go out of Syria to have a new chance for these babies.  Maybe there are many people passed by even more bad and hard circumstances than mines, but for me that was over than what I can deal with. It is the time to go out.

At that night my husband did not have enough courage to wake the kids up and hug them to say good bye. He kissed them while they were sleeping and went away at the middle of night holding his sadness deep inside his heart. At that moment I never imagine that action will affect my children psychologically. Later I felt sorry for them because of the problem which they had as a result of that day. That decision had a bad feed backs, I still up till now try to help them to get rid of. My kids hat a feelings that I may leaf them and go away one day exactly just like their father and they refuse to sleep away of me. When they met their father they refused to be with him alone without me because of that. They have always phobia of waking up to find out that I let them and went out. Every night they wake up at the middle of night to check if I still with them and if I was not in the same room they cry and looking for me in the whole house. That is not the only problem that I faced because of the resolution of my husband's departure. He spent one year waiting for the "Residence decision and right of protection" in Germany.

 I suffered a lot until I get the visa to come to Germany. It was the longest year in all my life. I worked hard as the all Syrians to get an appointment in the Germany Embassy in Turkey or Lebanon. As I got an appointment in Turkey unfortunately the Turkish government announced officially that every Syrian need a visa to enter Turkey with almost impossible conditions so, I lost the chance to go into turkey therefore I tried to get an appointment in the Germany Embassy in Beirut. I sent them an email asking an appointment for the family reunion application. I was so happy to get an answer after a whole month. As I read the Email all my dreams became ashes. I got an appointment to apply for the family reunion program after a whole another year.

 

Having the faith of carrying out my duties as a mother, and keeping my angel's smiles in my mind, I insisted not to waste any moment and to do all my best to give them a good life that they deserved. As being the person who brings them to this life, I always felt guilty that I could not give them enough happiness. So I sent an Email to the Germany Embassy in Indonesia and got an appointment to apply for the family reunion, and be lucky to get one not so war only about 4 months later. It was a very happy news to my little family, this happiness did not keep for long. One week later I got another Email explaining that the Embassy cancelled all the Syrian appointments, But I never gave up. I learned during this war how to be as powerful as I believe of my rights. According to my faith I sent an Email to the caritas in Tübingen asking them to help me and I was so thankful to get an answer from them explaining that I can go to Indonesia and my canceled appointment is reactivated. At that moment I thought that the luck give me his hand and I would not be lost again but later I faced a lot of terrible days which gave me a hard experiment. I got an Indonesian visa for me and my children and prepared happily my luggage I did not give any attention to the hard arrangements that I passed by alone, a lot of paper had to be prepared and translated, I had to say goodbye to my parents who I do not know if I will catch the chance to meet them later, my memories, my brother in the east of Aleppo whom I did not see for two years and I will leave without seeing him although the only few meters which segregated us. All of that I put it away just to be with my husband and to give the good and new chance to my children. I bought the airplane tickets and traveled by bus with the kids for 12 hours to be in Damascus to have a rest for few days before my journey to Beirut's airport. While I was in Damascus I read a news on the internet that the Indonesia's officers in the airport refused to allow all the Syrians to enter although they have a legal visa and they arrested them in the airport and send them back to Beirut's airport where they were brought into Syria by the Lebanon's police and were prevented to enter Lebanon again for a whole year.  I discussed with my husband about what shall we do. If we prevented to enter Indonesia and Lebanon that mean we will never had a chance to be again together. It was a high risk to involve ourselves through, but we have no choice. I flew to Jakarta for more than 13 hour alone with three children the youngest was less than two years old. In that journey there were anther Syrian families have the same situation. As we arrived to the airport the officers caught us all and guided all the Syrian to a small room and he said that we had to wait here for an investigational reasons. We were only women and children and I remember very well one woman, which had two children suffering of diabetic, she asked the officer to store her kid's medicine in the fridge to safe it but he refused. 

In this room I discovered that we were seven families stuck in this room and nobody knew anything about us even our husbands.

 I was the first one who was called to the investigation. I met the officers and they asked me about the reason of my visit to Indonesia and they were afraid that may be I would like to pass through Indonesia to another country as a refugee I showed them all my official paper that proved that my husband is in Deutschland and I would like to meet him and the official appointment of the Germany Embassy in Indonesia but they refused to give me the permission to enter saying what if the Germany Embassy did not give you a Visa at the End I asked them just to have an access to the internet to call my Indonesian friends who were waiting for me at the airport exit.

They took this phone numbers and went out for a while then asked me to pay money to allow me to leave the airport. Than I got very quickly the visa for germany and found luckily a very cheap flight for me and my children, which I could afford. After one week in Jakarta I was on the airplane flying into Germany, although I had some problems in every airport that I passed by even in the transit. I felt as if the Syrian are creatures which do not have the right even to live in spite of having all the needed documents and papers

It was very hard to me as I am an educated person used to be respected in her job and her life. Holding a master in Artificial Intelligence and treated as unwanted creature on this planet that broke my heart. I never imagine to pass by situation such a like. I am thankful that I had a chance to meet my husband again and that I have a good time and new life with my children who I try to help them to overcome and to forget these bad days. It is harmful to hear my children calling Syria "our old ugly home" but I excuse them because they did not face the happiness there, although we are here do not have an own house or car or family like Syria and it was hard to them to meet unknown children and they could not understand the new language but they refuse to go back to that life. Truly I did not talk about all what I suffer in Syria or the bad war. I just would like to give some light into the bad journey that all the Syrian in forced to pass by and the reasons of that and how the kids suffered.